Is Living Alone Ideal? (Research) – 5/30

Over the weekend I asked why house sharing isn’t popular in Nairobi, and from the responses I got on the post both on the blog and on Twitter, it seems the barrier in Kenya (and Africa) is more cultural than rational. There’s the feeling that house sharing robs the home of the “sovereignty” . House sharing is also viewed as a stop-gap measure, and as soon as the person can afford a house, they split up. It was interesting to note that people preferred paying more to live alone in an inferior location, compared to combining resources and living in a better location.

I also had a chat with Charity Kagenza from Rwanda, and the situation in Kigali is a little different from Nairobi. It is common for male friends to share houses after university, but ladies generally live with their parents or relatives until they get married. I found that to be interestingly conservative, compared to liberal Nairobi.

It was however encouraging to see a that some cases of successful house sharing in Nairobi, I am hopeful the trend will grow.  Living alone seems highly desirable, but is it ideal considering that we are social creatures? I scoured the internet and came up with some research:

1. In the UK, there are now 1.3 million middle aged men living alone, and 1.1 million middle aged women living alone, an increase of 800,000 solo dwellers since the mid 1990s. (source). This article affirms that when younger,living alone is a sign of prestige and status, but later in life, it is mostly as a result of marriage / relationship breakdown, and a major contribution to depression.
2. 27% of American households have people who are living solo, because they’re marrying later, increased divorce, and trends such as women’s liberation, urbanization, and surprisingly, IT . It is a growing trend, not sure if it is desirable or not. About 15 million middle aged Americans now live alone. This interesting info graphic breaks it down.
3. Loneliness is a leading killer in older people. Lack of social interaction can make old people more vulnerable to depression and to problems such as excessive drinking, poor diet and a reduction in exercise. The article says that “loneliness adversely affects the immune and cardio-vascular systems” and a lack of social interaction is linked to the onset of Alzheimer’s disease. Research has shown that the older in communities that live together live longer, happier lives, compared to societies where old people live alone.

My experience:

I have lived alone, shared a house with a friend, and now I live with my helper and daughter. When I was younger (22-26 years old), living alone was fantastic. I cherished the independence, solitude and general “self rule”. Within that period, I also shared my house for a bit, it was alright, not great. Over this time, I probably had more time to socialize because my job wasn’t too busy.

As I got busier at work and had less time to socialize, living alone stopped being as attractive. My helper and baby aren’t house mates, but I enjoy going home to them. I get solitude on Saturday evenings when my helper is away (which is just the right amount of solitude), and in August I lived alone for 2 weeks, they were at my mom’s. I hated it, the house felt empty.

Given the choice, I would go for house sharing for both the rational and financial reasons, and for the social, softer reasons.